Hello all,
I probably shouldn't be writing a post the mood I'm in at the moment. Its not a bad or sad or happy mood, i feel worried. There's nothing normal to be worried about such as a test or that I'm in trouble for something. I just feel scared because now i don't know where I'm going or whats next. I will explain.
On Sunday i will be heading back home to Annan and staying there for most of the summer and i know that's a certain and what will happen after that will probably be really fun and a completely different world to what I'm in at the moment and maybe things will of changed a lot at home with also worries and scares me.
Phil, Tom and Rury just spent the day hanging out at mine they have all just gone home for their dinners. I have that empty, what now, sort of feeling and i hate it drives me mad. I don't know whats going to happen for the rest of the week and its starting to make me feel uncomfortable and sort of lost and constantly on edge i can't relax or plan to do anything for myself.
Now that i have nothing to look forward to and focus my energy and thoughts on. I will start thinking and dealing with the important shit in my head that i really want to ignore because if i open up that can of worms it will be difficult to close and make life so much more painful and i really can be arsed cause i just got it closed.
I hate being on my own i like to constantly have people around me and i think its what I'm finding hard about living here. Some days lots of things will be happening but others i can be so quiet and still. I miss home i don't miss the place i miss the company. I hate being left to my thoughts for company i need something to think about and plan for another object to climb.
Anyway i best be off
bye bye x
*Hez*
