This post is inspired by a blog buddy of mine called Becca. I seriously don't have to write posts anymore because most of the things i have felt, thought or experienced Becca has mentioned on her blog. I think her way of writing is brilliant, so honest open, and raw and alive!! Just a note to say i enjoy reading her blog and i promise things will get better they have to right?
I do like face-book, (as much as you can like an social network) but it took me fifty bloody minutes to upload pictures onto it. I know this problem is most likely caused by my own internet and slow p.c. but i like my p.c. to much to dare have any fault with it. Today was another pointless day, i just wondered around wasting time, hoping time passes more quickly so i can be eighteen sooner. Walked the dogs with mum, which was good fun but sometimes it can feel awkward but there isn't any reason why i should feel this i just do in social situations.
Its like, at the moment I'm living with my aunt and nan, which makes me sound so uncool but they are awesome! I couldn't ask for any cooler people to live with. Its just sometimes i worry, i could be doing more, or don't do enough, get on their nerves or in their way sometimes. I don't want them to be thinking negatively of me. Its good because i know if there is something i should be doing, or have done wrong because they normally leave me little notes. I have decided to write them a little note and put it on the kettle where i know they will get it saying, if there is anything more they want me to be doing around the house just to let me know or if there's something i should be doing that I'm not.
Also my nan is throwing this huge party for my 18th this weekend, which makes me more nervous because i haven't had much to do with it, she has sort of organized it all herself, she loves doing this sort of thing, but i just feel i should be doing more but when i say to her is there anything you want me to do she just says she will let me know. She hasn't of yet, but I'm also going to leave her a note too saying i have the rest of the week free if there is anything she needs me to help with.
People are actually going to be turning up to my 18th that i invited which i can't believe!! I didn't think anyone i knew would really be interested, mind you there will be free booze and it is a party so who would say no i guess lol. Which reminds me my uncle and aunt and children i think are coming which is very exciting because i haven't seen them since i moved out. When i lived with them things were weird and i think i kind of let them down, so now its a good chance to show how I'm turning my life around and hopefully make things up to them, show i do have some good about me. I feel quite guilty because they did so much for me and due to things out of my control i was a complete teenager at times and awkward to live with. I'm very grateful for everything they have done for me, and if they ever read this, i would just like to say, I'm sorry for the trouble i caused and thank you so!! much for the opportunity you provided for me and one of the best school years of my life.
Wish i could do more for you then just say these words and i hold a promise to myself that one day i will put these words into actions.
Anyway Johns going to be here in a minute so i guess i should probably try and make the room safe for others (unprotected and not as immune as i am) to enter it.
