Are you truely happy?

I have asked a few this question lately, i ask myself very rarely, the answer can at times be to much to bare. I don't know about anyone else but i don't know if i ever will be happy. I always believed one day i would be in my dream place in my head i have spent years working on that once i got there everything would be fine. I know this place will never exist, only in my mind but this doesn't mean i have given up on hope or dreams. It's just that i know that this is such a great place that only my imagination could of created. What i know is true is that one day i know i will experience the bliss happiness i feel in my dreams.

It true that everyone always wants something else as soon as they get what they want theres something new to long for dont want any material possessions at the moment apart from a nirvana t shirt and new trainers. Even if i had them it wouldnt make me truely happy i dont know what would make me truely happy apart from getting away from everyone i know with one person, i do know, the only one i would actually enjoy the company of. Escaping my family would be such a cool oppertunity i could just be me and not parts of all of them put into a person. Although living where i do now, gives me this oppertunity, although they are family, there are close enough to have that nice pleasant family happiness with but not to close to drive me up the wall! With living here there is a certain respect and understanding and space, i wouldn't be able to experience with my closer family.

I dont even know what i'm writing anymore this post had so much potential but its gone to pot now. Awesome song, its called the pot by Tool. Brilliant band.

So another relationship has ended and the funny thing is, it was a great relationship yeah he was funny, really good looking, deep, kind, he listened, would do anything for me, had a great job rode a motorcycle, had his own place really nice friends. I even cared about him loads felt a connection like something strong was there with potential. why did i end it you ask?

i have no f**king idea....

da da da dum

Today is a very good day. The week from hell is over, I have no homework, I can sit relax with my music books and irn bru knowing i will see John tomorrow night.

Some pervy guy looked at me today and grinned in a pervy way at my legs while licking him lips and groaning it was awful.