There is no hello this time, no its 2009 time for change i think. New years resolution don't have on never will, if i did i wouldn't speak it in words, as soon as you do that its never going to happen. I'm going to have a change though in my life i think this year is going to be much more positive than last. which was full of letting myself down, doing things i promised myself if never would do and hurting so many people. That's it though. Its out my system, well lets hope so this year is different. I'm not making radical changes or anything like that, yes a whole new me! Ha never going to happen. One thing i do want to deal with and get rid of is this constant anger i have for everything that's happened to me, i don't want to go through life believing it owes me, it never does or will. I am going to think about things more, but not analyse myself to much or be to hard on myself if it happens it happens no point dwelling on it won't change anything. I want to learn and experience new things but not in a accademic way, want to learn more about my interests and has my passions back again.

This first week of school has been horrible, so much hard work i only got like 12 hours sleep. Its over now though thank god, i can now relax and begin handing things in on time again instead of having to explain to teachers why so much is late. Now i can move forward and be more organised and have more time to myself again, poor bass has been neglected. ALthough living in the envrionment i'm in at the moment does have a few emoitional challanges, like i often wonder if this is what it would be like if my parents hadn't split. Sometimes i feel like a outsider looking in, but most of the time i do feel like part of it all and everyones so supportive and good fun at times it makes me want to cry because i have no other way of expressing my appreciation for what they have given me. I often get awkward wanting to say something but feeling it would be hugely inappropiate and not apprecaited something that doesn't need to be spoken about or said, its already known.